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I've always felt different ever since I was a young boy playing with my sister's Barbies -- which was about age 3 or 4. I was little back then, so I never thought anything of it.

As a child growing up in a strict Catholic family, I was always very feminine. I was very close with my mom and sister, and mostly because my older brother never really cared much to interact with me or spend time with me, and my father was in the Army and was never home, and never had time for me as a kid, either.

As time passed I started feeling more and more like a girl but never really thought anything of it. Around age 16 I was battling severe clinical depression and started going to therapy for it.

I started to get more in touch with my feminine side, and I knew something was different I didn't feel like a boy anymore, and that scared me.

I was wearing makeup, girl's clothes, hair extensions, etc. But I would try to make up an excuse to myself and to my friends by saying I was just a feminine gay boy.

I continued therapy for a couple of years, but I always felt very unsatisfied with myself. At the end of the day, after washing all my makeup off, taking out my clip-in hair extensions, I realized it wasn't enough for me.

I wanted to stay looking like that forever. I then realized I was not a boy and, in fact, I was a girl. I told them I was gay when I was 14, and at the time I thought I was, because I was attracted to men.

I was in denial about who I really was and how I felt on the inside. I told my dad right before going to church that I was gay, and he started crying.

He told me that he would not tell my mom, and I should tell her when I was ready. Eventually she caught on when my father was acting "strange" and confronted me about it, and I told her.

They both took it really hard, since I am the baby of the family, but got over it really quickly. My mom would secretly buy me all my makeup and girl's clothes, but she thought it was just a phase.

At the age of 18, and after years of therapy, I finally came to terms with the fact that I was transgender. I felt liberated to know that the way I was dressing and acting was actually normal, since I was transgender and not a flamboyant gay guy.

I told my parents after one of my therapy sessions, and they took it even harder. My mom always knew there was something different about me, so she was more accepting.

My father, on the other hand, was very devastated and just pretended like it was all a phase. In the end, they may not support everything I've done, but they are accepting.

I am very fortunate to have accepting parents, unlike a lot of other kids in the LGBT community. My parents never beat me or kicked me out.

They've stuck by my side, and until this day they are still accepting. It was very interesting. I was 14, and my boyfriend at the time was 16, and we were in the movie theater, and he asked me if I've ever done anything naughty in the movies before, and I said, "No.

He leaned in for a kiss, and he stuck his tongue in my mouth, and I accidentally bit it! It was more mortifying since it was my first kiss.

I felt so bad afterwards and tried to kiss him again. I was such a prude back then and so inexperienced; I didn't know what I was really doing.

After that second attempt of trying to kiss him, he unzipped his pants and asked me if I wanted to stroke him. I was nervous since we were sitting at the very bottom of the theater and everyone could have seen us, but I felt so bad for hurting him, so I did it.

He started kissing my neck, which got me really aroused, and I started getting really into it. He then told me to suck him, and I was so turned on that I actually did it.

Thank goodness there was no accidental biting at that point. No, I never did. I've always admired women for their beauty, but I never really wanted to have sex with one.

I'm open to the idea, but for the most part I have always been attracted to men, and I don't think that's going to change. Do you like to receive oral sex?

How do you think sex is different for you than for a cisgender woman? Oral sex is very different for me. I'm really shy in real life about my body and genitals.

It all depends on the chemistry with the guy and if I'm really into him. I normally don't like it because it just feels weird and uncomfortable to me.

He gave me oral, and I really did enjoy it! Sex is obviously different for me, since I don't have a vagina, but I work around that. I do enjoy getting anal sex and giving oral sex, and I love rimming, both receiving and giving, which is one of my favorite things to do in the bedroom.

I can still ejaculate and get myself off, also. But when it comes to emotions, I feel for the guy after sex. I get attached to a guy if I have sex with him, like every other woman does.

To be honest, I'm not really a sexual person. I don't have sex that often because I want it to be special, with someone special, not just some one-night stand with a guy I meet at a club or something.

Did you ever feel that people treated you badly or judged you because you are trans? It would be a lie if I said I didn't. I was always treated badly and judged throughout high school, during my personal life, and even in my porn career.

I was often judged and discriminated against when I would apply for jobs in my town, simply because I am transsexual.

Genetic girls would make fun of me because I am a transsexual ,and because I didn't have boobs or a vagina like them.

Men were either disgusted by me or didn't like me because I didn't have a vagina. I mostly received a lot of hatred within my own community.

Other transsexuals would tease me and make fun of me for not having breasts and not being on hormones as long as they have.

I was often called a "cross-dresser," "boy with hair extensions," "he ," " it ," etc. A lot of hateful comments and accusations were made about me, when obviously no one knew anything about me, and I was being true to myself.

I believe we're supposed to stick together as a community, not bash each other because of where we're at in our transitions, or our looks.

Life is hard enough being a transsexual; we don't need that negativity and hatred against our own kind. Shemale Centers0. Shemale Centers.

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I want the guy I share my life with to feel special, despite the fact that I did porn when I was younger. That's a very interesting question.

A year ago I said I wouldn't, but at this point in my life, I'm not sure. I'm still very young and have time to think about it.

I'm still growing mentally and physically, but I'm leaning towards "yes. For a lot of trans people the goal is not to have all the surgeries but to get to a place where you are living as the gender you present as, and where you are happy with yourself.

I have found that a lot of trans people cannot be comfortable with any leftover misgendered parts, and that the obvious "end game" becomes complete sexual reassignment surgery.

How did you get into the adult entertainment industry? What are your plans for the future? I got into the adult entertainment industry at the tender age of Growing up in a small town, I was discriminated against when it came to jobs.

I applied everywhere, even Burger King. They didn't hire me. It was so hard not having the resources and other trans women to relate to.

I felt so alone and needed to make fast money to get on hormones and get my surgeries. I got into the industry just for that reason.

It was quite an experience, I must say. I learned a lot about life and about myself, and what I wanted out of life. After being in the adult entertainment business and dealing with all the drama, I decided that life was not for me.

I met some good people in the biz, and I had accomplished all the goals I had set for myself, but I wanted out of that lifestyle.

I don't regret doing it, because I wouldn't be where I am at today: a strong young woman. But I do wish I would have made better choices and thought things through before selling my soul and body for a couple of hundred dollars to a business that ends up exploiting women and only cares about making money off of them.

As for my future plans, I want to go back to college and try to live a normal life. I don't want anything to do with porn.

That's the past, and I'm no longer that sweet, innocent girl I used to be. My philosophy is, "Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore.

Will I find it? I hope so! I don't think it is fair at all, but nothing in life is fair. To the companies and directors each of us is "just another girl" who can be replaced easily.

The transsexual niche in porn is very small, and we don't have exclusive companies like Digital Playground, Wicked, etc.

We have very few companies to work for and only select talent to work with. It's kind of a sad business.

I worked with a photographer for a major company in the transsexual niche, and he treated the girls like they're a piece of meat.

I was totally disgusted by him! He made many girls I know feel like they were nothing but just another hole to fill.

We have it so much harder, and we deserve the same treatment and respect as a contract girl from Digital Playground.

I don't see that happening anytime soon, but maybe in the future. I have the best hopes for girls in the industry; I want them to stick up for themselves and not let the industry take advantage of them.

How do you feel about Donald Trump's decision to allow transsexual women in the Miss Universe Pageant? I respect his decision percent! I think that's very noble and brave of him to make that decision, since he is a man who is respected by so many people.

I think transsexuals are just as beautiful and deserving as genetic women and have every right to compete.

Beauty is not something I have a static or full and definite understanding of yet. There are the societal ideals of beauty, which are so subjective.

Then there is my definition of beauty. There are beautiful people who are beautiful for who they are, and beautiful people who are beautiful for how they look.

I have grown comfortable with my looks; I can feel beautiful in that way, but I would much prefer to stand back, look at my life, and feel like a beautiful person.

That is my goal, and life changes so much, so rapidly, that I find it difficult to remove myself and objectively judge my life and its impact on others.

Right now, though, when I look at myself, I can be at ease with what I see in both regards. Is it easy or difficult to find men to date?

Have you had problems with men wanting to date you openly? Living in such a small town, I do attract lots of guys, but either they know me because of my porn career or don't know I'm a transsexual.

It's kind of hard to actually pursue guys that I like, because most of them don't know I'm a transsexual. We live in a cruel world, and you never know how people will react.

I do plan on moving in the future to a larger city, starting over, and leaving everything behind. Maybe then I will have more luck in the dating department, but as of now, it's very difficult.

I have had problems dating men in general. Living in such a conservative town in Texas, I find that most guys were ashamed to be seen with me and didn't want to date me openly.

I know it's not easy dating a transsexual, but I am just like every other girl except for what is in between my legs. I haven't found a man that is secure enough with himself and his sexuality to disregard what other people would say or think about us dating.

I don't want to be a "secret" anymore. I know what I'm worth and what I deserve. I hope sometime in the future I will find a man who will want to show me off to the world.

I've yet to find that, but I hope I do someday. I'm relatively young, so I know I have my whole future ahead of me with endless possibilities. I haven't lost all faith in finding a soulmate.

What are your thoughts about children?

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